Wednesday, November 30

Back to the grind

The highlight of last night was discovering I had an old (opened) bottle of red wine in the fridge. It was drinkable...but barely. Oh, and seeing the Two Towers is now available for instant streaming on Netflix. 20 minutes into it, however, I discovered even Viggo couldn’t cheer me up so I went to bed at 9:30. 

This morning, I called in sick to nurse my "dumped by a guy I never dated" wounds. I know it all sounds ridiculous but I'm pretty down about it. For almost a year, English Tom and I have connected in some way or another and the last 2 weeks have been a whirlwind of planning for his visit, so the idea of no more ET is depressing. Yes, he was very hot, which drew me in, but he was also deep and witty and smart. And his killer accent made me swoon every single time we spoke on the phone. Speaking of phone, I'll go ahead and add here that we had phone sex once and did quite a bit of sexting. The first I've done; but sexting was new to me and I wasn't quite sure what to expect but it was more fun that I had ever thought it would be. I was an English major in college. Words get me going, I guess.

For what it's worth, he did offer friendship (and seemed crestfallen when I didn't want it) because he wanted us to continue playing our games and he liked our banter. Dude, I have plenty of friends I don't have time for IN REAL LIFE.

The sky was gray and the clouds were practically bursting, but it was miraculously dry. However, I didn't go for a run. Instead, I went shopping at Target with a free $50 gift card I won at work, and managed to squeeze into a size 6 of the same style of my current jeans, which I love. It's a tad too small; there's a slight muffin top and my butt is smushed so the crack sort of disappears and my cheeks kind of meld together but I'm thinking it'll look just fine if I can shed 2 or 3 more lbs. Alternatively, I might do some lounges in it and call it good. Then, I made dinner (fried fish and a spinach salad) and popped a caramelized onion quiche (with a ready made pie crust) in the oven because I had a massive craving. Clooney's The American kept me company while I was stirring away at the onions. 

Then, I did something I hadn't done in awhile; answered a CL ad. Actually, 2 of them. Shockingly, I saw a few good ones without trying too hard. Normally you have to wade thigh deep through the sugar daddy types and looking for a BBW types and the “are you a cuddler?” types and the "I'm 19 but looking for an older woman" types before finally giving up and doing something more productive. The first one is a tall writer with dark hair (hopefully on top of his head, too) who likes "theatre." After replying to his ad, I realized he may not be 45 because he said:

"My only age requirement is that you not be over 45. (Ish.) Sorry, that's just where my interest is."

I mean, he could be 45 and isn't into dating anyone older. (Please let that be it.) But, for all I know, he's 50, which is way too old for me and looking to date younger women. To make matters worse, the "ish" implies even more wiggle room, so he could be 55 or 60.

The 2nd one was cautiously sweet. He's looking for a date to a company Christmas party. He lives way up north, though, so I wonder if Asians are even on his radar. I included a picture of me in a black skimpy dress I'll more than likely wear for New Year's, which is slightly crass (body/no head shots tend to be, right?) but included some regular pics from when I was in San Francisco a few months ago to balance things out.

Tonight before bed, I'm going to work on my OkC profile.

Tuesday, November 29

Newly dumped

I was dumped this afternoon by someone I never dated. Talk about sinking to a new low.

But, I should start at the beginning.

Back in October of last year, I apparently lived under a rock because people around me kept referencing OkCupid and I had no idea what that was. Turns out it's a free online dating site. I had straight friends on there and gay friends on there and not wanting to be left behind, I quickly signed up. Within a month, I had a date lined up with Marlboro Man (so named because he's lighting up a cigarette in his profile pic). I was 35 then, he was 30. I know, WAY too young but I couldn't help myself. I have a soft spot for hot men, and MM was gorgeous: thin and lanky, a bit of a ginger but not in a bad way. He's a part time actor, worked part time as a bartender for a catering service, and had that scruffy, unkempt, hipster look that appeals to younger guys who hates bathing, hates shaving, and refuses to own an iron. I know, I'm embarrassed just recounting the details.

MM was a self-processed word game aficionado. Being a bit of a Scrabble whiz myself, I questioned his skills and he quickly challenged me to a game of Word with Friends. I had no idea what that was and, over drinks at a bar, he downloaded the Scrabble-like app on my phone for me and we began to play. Yes, while seated 2 feet from each other. What can I say, technology breeds strange, pathetic creatures.

Turns out there are tons about the world I didn't know, like how most bartenders are also raging alcoholics. Odd since I have a close college friend who is a bartender and --you guessed it--a raging alcoholic. Apparently, I got the memo but promptly forgot because it was folded it up into a tight little square and hidden away under the wobbly leg of my sidewalk coffee table. Marlboro Man was stellar in bed (when he wasn't talking) but quickly got the old heave ho when he peed on my bathroom floor while completely shit-faced drunk one evening.

So, there are 2 ways to play WWF. You can either find friends through Facebook or Twitter or you can play a "Random Opponent." I didn't know a single soul who likes Scrabble like I (boringly) do, so I always opt for this last option. In Feb, I started playing English Tom, so named because he lives in London, which is approximately 5,000 miles from Seattle. There's a chat feature to the game I hardly ever use aside from the occasional "nice bingo" or, "hey, you just blocked me" because I'm serious about playing and could not care less age, location, or sex, blah blah blah. ET, however, was a bit chatty, so slowly but surely I got to know things about him and he about me, and he and I played pretty much every day.

In June, after much pestering, I agreed to exchange pictures. And I was so glad I did, because good God almighty, he was tall and fit and incredibly hot. OMG.

In late August/early September, he confessed he had a crush. Furthermore, it was a crush he has harbored  for a long time.

2 minutes later in late August/early September, I confessed I had a bit of a crush as well. Ever shallow, mine began the second I saw his picture.

Then, the emails, and the texting, and the 3-hour phone calls took over (along with our very exciting games, of course) and the 8-hour time difference resulted in lots and lots of lost sleep. And we spoke of meeting, a thought that made both of us giddy. Being the over-the-top romantic, I suggested we meet in Prague in early spring. Ever the pragmatist, he suggested flying to Seattle in February. I agreed and we began to make wondrous, exciting, butterfly-in-the-belly plans. How about dancing I said. No, let's just do low-key things like snuggle in front of the fireplace and watch a movie he said. Then, I replied with, ooh, let's climb the REI wall and take a food tour of the Pike Place Market. It all sounds wonderful, he agreed.

Apparently not.

I was dumped this morning because "the situation simply got too big" and "deep down, I'm just a shy guy trying to be something I'm not" i.e., fanciful, adventurous, a risk taker.

For a guy I've never met, it surprisingly hurt a lot and I cried at my desk while we were "talking." Yes, we had this conversation via text, which depressed me even more.