Newly dumped

I was dumped this afternoon by someone I never dated. Talk about sinking to a new low.

But, I should start at the beginning.

Back in October of last year, I apparently lived under a rock because people around me kept referencing OkCupid and I had no idea what that was. Turns out it's a free online dating site. I had straight friends on there and gay friends on there and not wanting to be left behind, I quickly signed up. Within a month, I had a date lined up with Marlboro Man (so named because he's lighting up a cigarette in his profile pic). I was 35 then, he was 30. I know, WAY too young but I couldn't help myself. I have a soft spot for hot men, and MM was gorgeous: thin and lanky, a bit of a ginger but not in a bad way. He's a part time actor, worked part time as a bartender for a catering service, and had that scruffy, unkempt, hipster look that appeals to younger guys who hates bathing, hates shaving, and refuses to own an iron. I know, I'm embarrassed just recounting the details.

MM was a self-processed word game aficionado. Being a bit of a Scrabble whiz myself, I questioned his skills and he quickly challenged me to a game of Word with Friends. I had no idea what that was and, over drinks at a bar, he downloaded the Scrabble-like app on my phone for me and we began to play. Yes, while seated 2 feet from each other. What can I say, technology breeds strange, pathetic creatures.

Turns out there are tons about the world I didn't know, like how most bartenders are also raging alcoholics. Odd since I have a close college friend who is a bartender and --you guessed it--a raging alcoholic. Apparently, I got the memo but promptly forgot because it was folded it up into a tight little square and hidden away under the wobbly leg of my sidewalk coffee table. Marlboro Man was stellar in bed (when he wasn't talking) but quickly got the old heave ho when he peed on my bathroom floor while completely shit-faced drunk one evening.

So, there are 2 ways to play WWF. You can either find friends through Facebook or Twitter or you can play a "Random Opponent." I didn't know a single soul who likes Scrabble like I (boringly) do, so I always opt for this last option. In Feb, I started playing English Tom, so named because he lives in London, which is approximately 5,000 miles from Seattle. There's a chat feature to the game I hardly ever use aside from the occasional "nice bingo" or, "hey, you just blocked me" because I'm serious about playing and could not care less age, location, or sex, blah blah blah. ET, however, was a bit chatty, so slowly but surely I got to know things about him and he about me, and he and I played pretty much every day.

In June, after much pestering, I agreed to exchange pictures. And I was so glad I did, because good God almighty, he was tall and fit and incredibly hot. OMG.

In late August/early September, he confessed he had a crush. Furthermore, it was a crush he has harbored  for a long time.

2 minutes later in late August/early September, I confessed I had a bit of a crush as well. Ever shallow, mine began the second I saw his picture.

Then, the emails, and the texting, and the 3-hour phone calls took over (along with our very exciting games, of course) and the 8-hour time difference resulted in lots and lots of lost sleep. And we spoke of meeting, a thought that made both of us giddy. Being the over-the-top romantic, I suggested we meet in Prague in early spring. Ever the pragmatist, he suggested flying to Seattle in February. I agreed and we began to make wondrous, exciting, butterfly-in-the-belly plans. How about dancing I said. No, let's just do low-key things like snuggle in front of the fireplace and watch a movie he said. Then, I replied with, ooh, let's climb the REI wall and take a food tour of the Pike Place Market. It all sounds wonderful, he agreed.

Apparently not.

I was dumped this morning because "the situation simply got too big" and "deep down, I'm just a shy guy trying to be something I'm not" i.e., fanciful, adventurous, a risk taker.

For a guy I've never met, it surprisingly hurt a lot and I cried at my desk while we were "talking." Yes, we had this conversation via text, which depressed me even more.