I messed up

Last week, I got a message on OkC from a guy who complimented my music tastes. I dub him Music Hipster because he looks Hipster'ish and is a bit of a music snob. Anyway, I replied to his message, we discovered we both liked playing Words with Friends, so he challenged me a game, and we sort of got to know each other via the chat feature on there. Then, we exchanged phone numbers and texted, too.

We finally went on our date last night and it could have gone really, really well but I totally messed up. I was rough around the edges and quite abrasive. (I cursed too much and some of the stories I told were probably inappropriate and I couldn’t seem to stop calling him Dude.) Every blue moon, I’m like this on a date if I peg someone a certain way and I think they can handle it. (Basically, if I feel too familiar too soon.) Anyway, about ¾ into our date, it dawned on me he was actually quite wholesom and sweet and therefore was NOT that way and was NOT able to handle it (i.e., didn’t like it/was turned off by it) but I didn’t know how to undo the damage I had done so it sort of continued but to a lesser degree.  Anyway, too bad. He’s really cute, very cool and mellow, and incredibly, incredibly sweet. We met at a saloon dive bar, and played Scrabble (I won), we played Sports Trivial Pursuit (I won), and we played 2 hands of Rummy (I won), so it was a really fun, atypical date. He paid for everything, even though I insisted on getting half. He walked me to my car and gave me a really warm hug and spoke or getting together again, but I'm doubtful he'll follow through.

Thankfully, I have a great date lined up tonight with Latin Lawyer (who is far, far ahead of the pack) so I’ll wallow about Music Hipster later. I suggested meeting at the bar where we plan to play trivia (God, I have a soft spot for nerds) but he countered with an offer to pick me up. I have the rest of the morning and all of this afternoon and part of the evening till he pulls up in my driveway to decide if I'll invite him in at the end of the night or not. Decisions, decisions.

A pleasant surprise

I tried to cancel my date because I had a persistent case of laryngitis and Latin Lawyer said he'd lean close to here my whispers. I mean, with an offer like that, how could I refuse!?

 

He ended up being such a pleasant surprise. I mean, I never went into it thinking he wasn't a complete winner--I did. From his profile and our emails, it was clear he was smart and charming. But, in person, he's also sweet and polite and idealistic in a way that kind of melted me. And he smelled wonderful. I'm such a sucker for a man who smells nice.

 

We met at a bar, shared a huge plate of nachos, and got to know each other over a few drinks. Then he suggested we hop in his car, so he could drive us to the movie theater nearby. It was one of those eat while you watch campy movies places, and we had such a good time! During the previews, we took turns ribbing each other saying, "Oh we should totally see that!" And the movie was hysterical. Afterwards, he drove me back to my car.

 

Throughout the night, I detected a few "he's interested" vibes. Mainly, he touched my arm every so often. The way his body leaned into mine. Also, I caught him looking down my shirt when he thought I wasn't looking. Ha!

 

Right before I got out of his car, I don't know if it was too much wine or the fact that he surpassed my expectations but I went for it and leaned in for a kiss. And it felt so nice and he was so receptive, I went in for another one. We made tentative plans to get together again next week, and I hope he doesn't flake because I really like him. 

Too much, too soon

I think it was a case of too much, too soon with Hot Frat Boy.

A work snafu on Christmas led me to call him from the office around 9p, asking if he could pick me up instead of me driving over. A little domestic for 2 people who barely knew each other, I concede. But, he did and seemed relatively pleasant about it, and brought me back to his place, where we pieced together a rustic gratin, put it in the oven, and then settled in, and watched a few movies while it was baking.

Unfortunately, our vibe was off. He wasn't snuggly like he was the night before, our conversation was awkward and stilted, and when we finally hit the sack, "it" was pretty quick and basic. Blech.

Things didn't improve in the morning, either. He made coffee and we shared some of his grandma's coffee cake, which was nice of him to make/plate up, but I could not wait to get the hell out of Dodge. Since then, no word. But I'm okay with that. Contrary to his name, he's not a bonehead. He's a counselor at the university so he deals with peoples' problems all day long. Couple that with grad classes and managing the building where he lives and he's a busy guy. A busy guy...with walls. Lots and lots of them. Truthfully, I'm too old and too tired to care an iota about breaking any of them down. Life's too short.

In other news:

The Professor keeps emailing me even though I haven't really reached out since our late a few weeks ago. Figures. The ones you don't like are the ones who put forth the most effort.

Music Teacher (he teaches the cello) and I have our 2nd date on Sunday. As for what kind of date it is, he's coming over to my place at 10p and we're planning on sharing a bottle of wine. What can I say, when it rain, it pours.

Out of nowhere

I'll close the book on SF by saying he never called yesterday.

After work yesterday, I met up with Hot Frat Boy at a French bar for drinks. It was Christmas Eve and the restaurant part was closed so we just had a few drinks in the bar. Darn. I was in the mood for yummy crepes. Anyway, because I didn't hear anything from him for days after our first date, I arrived for our date with a bit of wariness. He let out a big smile when he saw me and gave me a warm hug, which surprised me. Then, we got comfy in the corner. So, I'm not the most subtle person in the world when I'm peeved and it took less than 10 minutes before I asked him why he never responded to my "I got home safely" text. He claims he replied. Turns out, he wrote out a reply but it didn't send and instead got stored in his drafts! Whew.

We had a great time but drinks on an empty stomach means I'd be sloshed in no time so we got in his car, drove around looking for an open restaurant, found a Thai place that had the yummiest Pad Thai with tamarind sauce and we shared that with a few drinks, and right then and there I knew I had to kiss him and soon. He's the hot, smartass jock in school you always wanted to date...and we were on a date! I knew exactly where I was going to take him after dinner, too. A red-light basement bar with booths where you can make-out like teenagers AND NO ONE CARES. Great minds think alike because the moment we got back to his car, he cut me off mid-sentence with a kiss, which turned into a pretty hot and heavy make-out session. Then, we headed to the red-light bar, drank a bit more, made out obscenely almost the whole time. Afterwards,  he drove me to his place where he proceeded to [are you ready for this?] worship my body for hours and hours and hours. OMG.

He drove me to my car this morning. Along the way, he idled while I found a coffee stand (he didn't want any), then he idled while I got money out of the ATM (new tradition: gifting money) and I was really touched by how he seemed not to mind sitting in the car while I ran my little errands. In fact, when I walked back from the coffee stand, I had my coffee on one hand and I got him an iced water in the other and, without any kind of prompting from me, quickly got out and opened my door for me. Aww.

It might be a case of too much too soon, but I'm heading over to his place after work tonight. He doesn't know but I'm bringing over gratin fixings and plan on throwing that in the oven when I get there. We don't have much planned. Just a movie or two. Oh yeah, and some major body worshipping.

Special Forces

So, I can't go on and on about SF. Know why? Because after 50 emails, and him asking me what days I was available and me telling him Friday evening or Monday evening, after him picking jumping on Friday night and then offering to pick me up even though he lives an hour away but it's Christmas so he'd more than likely spend 3 hours if not longer on the road, of further emails and texts of trying to iron out our plans for Friday, after I went through the trouble of researching where to have dinner, and then where to go after dinner (and was quite proud of myself for what I found), and trying to figure out what I was going to wear and then hitting Marshalls and buying a pretty little cardigan to go over my too-springy green floral dress because it had cap sleeves and it's the dead of winter, after getting my nails done (the second time I've EVER had a manicure in my life) and my face waxed, he "postpones" our date at the last second via text with a slew of excuses and a half-hearted "I'll call you tomorrow. Sorry." It's now past 8p and no call. Figures.

But, I'm nothing if not resilient. Not sure if this is a gift or a curse. I got proactive this morning and set up a date with Hot Fat Boy for tonight when I get off work. Turns out, my genius ability to read body language was faulty. He texted me a few days after our first date to ask how I was doing and then asked when we could meet again. Yay! After work tonight, we're meeting for crepes and drink. I loved his little smirk on our first date. I hope to see more of it tonight.

3 dates, 2 days-1 more on the way

I've been a very, very busy girl.  

I uploaded new (see? I'm not fat anymore) pics onto my OkC profile and my inbox have been bursting at the seams. Also, I've been more proactive about actually giving the smart (and hot) ones high ratings so they can decide if they want to write me or not. A few do, most don't.  

Saturday at 11a, I had a date with The Professor. Very nice guy but not my type. Short and shaves his head. Every time I test my ‘So what if he’s not tall and hot? He’s smart and funny’ mentality, I get completely and utterly shamed so I’m just going to go with what I like. I mean, I'm kind of shallow. I can deal with that. We got along really well, though, so we might get together again for dinner where I'll more than likely give him the "let's just be friends" line. I hate doing that. 

Using OkC's new app feature called "Local" where your location is tracked via your phone's GPS, you can ping or get pinged by people near you with the idea that two people who are in close proximity could be spontaneous and meet up for coffee or a walk or whatever (no, not for sex--well, at least, not for me). I pinged someone I had noticed before, but had no hopes the thing would work, so I continued getting ready and proceeded with my night. Well, guess what? At the party, he pinged me back and we exchanged a few texts and made plans to meet after the Christmas party. Of course, I was dressed to the nines. I mean, black lace dress with peekaboo bustier (The Girls were oozing all over the place) and sky-high stilettos. Music Student gave me the address to an art cafe/bar about 10 minutes away so we met up at midnight, he bought me a drink, and we proceeded to hang out till the bartender turned off all the lights. Very sweet, very gentle. Not sure how long it'll last till that bores me, but so far there are tentative plans for another date. 

Sunday evening after work, I met Hot Frat Boy at a dive bar. I gave him high marks for sarcasm, for smelling very nice, for being fit, for being cute. (<--See, how I put that last?) Oh, he also bought us 3 rounds of drinks which was sweet. Great conversation and I thought we really connected. But, something irked at me and I had a hard time placing it till it dawned on me that he might NOT be into me as much as I was into him. Once I latched onto this idea, I started looking for little tells and I think I found a few of them. Too bad, I really liked him. 

Tomorrow night, Friday, I have a tentative date with Special Forces (so named because he retired from the Special Forces). I know, his nickname isn't particularly clever but what can you do? He's too interesting to tack on this long-overdue post so he gets the next one all to himself. OMG, wait till you hear about him.

Newly dumped

I was dumped this afternoon by someone I never dated. Talk about sinking to a new low.

But, I should start at the beginning.

Back in October of last year, I apparently lived under a rock because people around me kept referencing OkCupid and I had no idea what that was. Turns out it's a free online dating site. I had straight friends on there and gay friends on there and not wanting to be left behind, I quickly signed up. Within a month, I had a date lined up with Marlboro Man (so named because he's lighting up a cigarette in his profile pic). I was 35 then, he was 30. I know, WAY too young but I couldn't help myself. I have a soft spot for hot men, and MM was gorgeous: thin and lanky, a bit of a ginger but not in a bad way. He's a part time actor, worked part time as a bartender for a catering service, and had that scruffy, unkempt, hipster look that appeals to younger guys who hates bathing, hates shaving, and refuses to own an iron. I know, I'm embarrassed just recounting the details.

MM was a self-processed word game aficionado. Being a bit of a Scrabble whiz myself, I questioned his skills and he quickly challenged me to a game of Word with Friends. I had no idea what that was and, over drinks at a bar, he downloaded the Scrabble-like app on my phone for me and we began to play. Yes, while seated 2 feet from each other. What can I say, technology breeds strange, pathetic creatures.

Turns out there are tons about the world I didn't know, like how most bartenders are also raging alcoholics. Odd since I have a close college friend who is a bartender and --you guessed it--a raging alcoholic. Apparently, I got the memo but promptly forgot because it was folded it up into a tight little square and hidden away under the wobbly leg of my sidewalk coffee table. Marlboro Man was stellar in bed (when he wasn't talking) but quickly got the old heave ho when he peed on my bathroom floor while completely shit-faced drunk one evening.

So, there are 2 ways to play WWF. You can either find friends through Facebook or Twitter or you can play a "Random Opponent." I didn't know a single soul who likes Scrabble like I (boringly) do, so I always opt for this last option. In Feb, I started playing English Tom, so named because he lives in London, which is approximately 5,000 miles from Seattle. There's a chat feature to the game I hardly ever use aside from the occasional "nice bingo" or, "hey, you just blocked me" because I'm serious about playing and could not care less age, location, or sex, blah blah blah. ET, however, was a bit chatty, so slowly but surely I got to know things about him and he about me, and he and I played pretty much every day.

In June, after much pestering, I agreed to exchange pictures. And I was so glad I did, because good God almighty, he was tall and fit and incredibly hot. OMG.

In late August/early September, he confessed he had a crush. Furthermore, it was a crush he has harbored  for a long time.

2 minutes later in late August/early September, I confessed I had a bit of a crush as well. Ever shallow, mine began the second I saw his picture.

Then, the emails, and the texting, and the 3-hour phone calls took over (along with our very exciting games, of course) and the 8-hour time difference resulted in lots and lots of lost sleep. And we spoke of meeting, a thought that made both of us giddy. Being the over-the-top romantic, I suggested we meet in Prague in early spring. Ever the pragmatist, he suggested flying to Seattle in February. I agreed and we began to make wondrous, exciting, butterfly-in-the-belly plans. How about dancing I said. No, let's just do low-key things like snuggle in front of the fireplace and watch a movie he said. Then, I replied with, ooh, let's climb the REI wall and take a food tour of the Pike Place Market. It all sounds wonderful, he agreed.

Apparently not.

I was dumped this morning because "the situation simply got too big" and "deep down, I'm just a shy guy trying to be something I'm not" i.e., fanciful, adventurous, a risk taker.

For a guy I've never met, it surprisingly hurt a lot and I cried at my desk while we were "talking." Yes, we had this conversation via text, which depressed me even more.